Sometimes, things don't always go as planned. For instance, last night I wanted to shoot a video where my wife answers questions about what it is "really" like living in lock down with me.
I collected a bunch of questions from you all, and threw them at her. I expected that I would have to fight the urge to repeatedly defend myself against the barrage of ways that I make life difficult for her. That would have made for an interesting video, at least.
What I ended up with was probably one of the most boring videos I've ever made for AfroDaddy. She literally only had two small annoyances (we made a short live video about it - you can watch it on IGTV here) - but her general note was that it was actually kinda great being in lock down with me.
Since conflict is the heart of any good story, this was a real problem, so I canned the video. It was tough to be frustrated though - we literally did not have enough to complain about to make a 5 minute Youtube video! That got me thinking...why is that the case? What were we doing right?
Here are a couple of thoughts that immediately hit me:
1) Saturday Flap Jacks:
In non-lock down life, our Saturdays were full. Commitments with family and friends, birthday parties, and even just feeling that we need to capitalise on a "free" day all gave the day a breathless feel. Now we have time for late-morning flap jacks. It definitely represents a bigger reason why we've coped with the lock down: life is slower.
2) Our Home Boys
No, not our homeboys. This isn't 90's sitcom where a kid who grows up in the hood goes to live with his rich Aunt and Uncle. Our sons love being home - especially our youngest. He really enjoys pottering around his own space, while creating a very exciting world in his head. Both our boys are enjoying the lack of schedule and the feeling of always having something to do. Sure, there are moments when they're a bit bored, but usually they end up finding a creative (and sometimes destructive) solution to that.
3) AfroDaddy Steps Up
A friend's dad always used to say that if a man wants to seduce his wife, his hands need to be in the sink. Now, as uncomfortable as that was for all of us to hear, I think he had a point. We've always mostly shared the housework between my wife and I, but since her work load has increased and mine has become more flexible during the lock down, I've picked up more cooking, cleaning and child care responsibilities. It's just the easiest and fairest way to get everything done.
But fellas, let me tell you something: When your wife finishes up her last meeting of the day, and she walks into a clean kitchen with a delicious supper ready and waiting...well, let's just say that it's worth the extra effort, okay?
4) Our Situation
Yes, we have all done what we can to make life in the AfroDaddy home be as pleasant as possible for us during lock down, but we have to acknowledge that our circumstances have made that task easier.
We have a back garden that's big enough for pottering and experiments, and a front parking area that's just big enough for a bit of bike riding. Both our work can be done remotely and flexibly (as long as I get my work done, it's all good). We have kids who are close enough in age to play with each other and generally get along.
Also, we now have uncapped internet. Thanks goodness for that.