The Jealous Dad
Something magical happened last night.
But before I tell you what it was, you need a bit of background: Ever since my youngest, Boy2.0, was born, he was totally his mother's child. I honestly found their immediate and intense connection beautiful, but even more honestly...it made me jealous. It is quite a thing to be a dad who can't comfort his child, who is constantly told "No, I go to mommy", who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his own son. I know, I know. It's silly and childish but the jealousy was real and disheartening. But then something started to change over last few months. Boy2.0 started not just being okay being with me, but occasionally would actually choose me over mommy! Maybe this shouldn't have made me as happy as it did. Anyway, this trend has continued - and then last night, while he was asleep on his mother's chest (the only place he has always found comfort for the last two years), he got up and, still asleep, cuddled into me. This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me for his comfort and calm. Not going to lie...I got a little teary eyed. Is there a lesson here? Yeah - being a dad is hard, but every bit of emotional and physically energy that you use can be repaid to you in an instant. So maybe you are a parent going through what I have been going through. Keep going. Keep pushing. It will be worth it. And while you are going through the struggle, remember that you have a community of friends right here who are ready to support you!